Short post today but I wanted to get this exciting news out! So awhile back I did a fairly lengthy post on hair and what it means to us, what I had noticed since I had lost mine from chemo treatment, and I had made a comment that I didn't think I'd ever complain about my hair again. If you didn't read it, you can catch it here: http://tealismynewblack.postach.io/bald-head-buddies

I am now 3.5 months past my last chemo treatment. My hair started coming back in pretty quickly, first as a very fine peach fuzz - I excitedly facetimed my mom and sisters to try to show them the tiny little hairs that were popping up. Soon after, I had a fairly decent covering of hair on my head, and now I am so proud to say that I have gone the last 10 days or so without wearing a wig! I am now wigless! Wahoo! This feels so liberating. No more itching. It's way cooler, I don't get hot flashes as bad anymore. It's so easy to get ready in the mornings now. Obviously along with the scalp hair, I got my eyebrows and eyelashes back! This made a huge difference as it made me feel as though I had taken a big step back towards normal.

So now that I have my hair back, I should have my confidence back, right? Nope. For the most part I have gotten great support and lots of compliments about my "new" hairstyle. Some people have even said I look better now than I did in my wigs! I have had conversations with people discussing how they have always wanted to go super short, and not knowing why my hair is how it is have commended me for being brave enough to get such a drastic cut! It has also caused a few awkward situations where I have been asked by someone who wasn't aware of my diagnoses what spurred me to make such a drastic changes - try answering that one while stuck in an elevator!

Funny though how insecurities about your looks can come rushing back to you when you throw yourself into an uncomfortable situation. I always assume the worst. I walked by a group of people the other day and they started laughing as soon I got past them. I immediately thought "they're laughing at me", and self consciously smoothed my hair and straightened my shirt. Even when people pass me in the hall and just stare, my first thought is that they're judging me for having short hair, then I think that they're applying stereotypes to me because of my hair, then I think about the fact that I shouldn't care. I really...shouldn't...care. None of these people know what I have gone through. None of them realize that I have earned this hair, that I have fought for this, and that it represents so much more to me than just becoming and feeling feminine again. It means my body is healing. My body was strong enough to get me through all of those treatments and then very quickly rebound back and start regenerating itself. My body survived. Those thoughts are enough to strengthen my soul, to strengthen my resolve, and I lift my chin a little higher and proudly wear my short hair! Here's a look at the growth over the past few months.